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Stuck in an Unhappy Loop? Here’s how to Break out of the Circumstance Thinking Trap and Change Your Life: A Lesson from Groundhog Day

“Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place, and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?

Ralph: That about sums it up for me.” –Groundhog Day

Are you feeling stuck in an unsatisfying loop?

Do you wake up each day to the same depressing job, relationship, home, and financial problems?

Do you feel like you can’t change things until external circumstances change—circumstances that are totally beyond your control?

In other words, does your life feel like the movie Groundhog Day?


Working on Labor Day (and What a 90something Badass Named Mother Jones Can Teach You about Thirtysomething Panic)

It’s Labor Day, a national holiday in the US, and I’m working. And feeling so grateful for that.

I considered taking the day off. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge believer in taking time off, in vacation, in rest and replenishment, in designing and maintaining boundaries between work and the rest of life that serve both of those arenas…and I took some gah-lorious time off this summer.


I Don’t Have Time: What Are You Making More Important Than the Most Important Things in Your Life?

In a RushDo you often tell yourself you’ll “figure out” the important stuff as soon as you have time?

Every night as you go to bed, you think about how you want to change your career, or improve a relationship, or start a project.

You may even get feverishly excited with ideas—and then those ideas have to wait until tomorrow.

Or next week.

Or next year.

Or whenever you have time.

Or money.

Or energy.

Because after all, you have A Lot To Do.

You don’t have All The Money In The World.

You only have So Much Energy.

So naturally, the steps you need to take to get on purpose and on your path get shuffled to the bottom of the to-do list.


Do This Before You Make Your New Year’s Resolutions…

Lots of people make New Year’s Resolutions, but most people don’t take the time to reflect on the year that has passed.

As a new year begins, we’re often in such a hurry to “fix” ourselves and our lives that we don’t stop to take stock of the year that’s ending.

Often, we just make last year’s resolutions over again, and end up a year later in the same situation with the same goals and the same frustrations.

When you hurry ahead into a new year without looking back, you’re likely to miss out on reaping the benefits of the previous year.

Here’s a tool that will help you harvest the learning and “gold” from the year that’s drawing to a close.

Happy New Year!


Acrostic

Gratitude tagHey, thirtysomething.

As we launch into another holiday season*, I’m thinking of you.

Panicking that your career is not where you want it to be.

Panicking that your relationships, or lack of relationships, will never change.

You may even feel guilt on top of the panic: after all, you are so blessed, and you are supposed to be grateful.


Becoming an Ex: 5 Steps to Take during a Breakup, Move, or Career Change

For Rent signFrom the very beginning, this summer has been a pretty intense walk down Memory Lane here in Carrie-town.

It started in the technically-not-summer-late-spring, when I walked down the street and saw the shades up and a big “FOR RENT” sign near the front window of my first apartment in Philadelphia.

I pressed my nose against the glass and looked at the empty space.

Memories came flooding over me, in a clearer and more visceral way than they had in years. I couldn’t pull myself away.


Bumps in the Road: How to Deal with Being Vulnerable and Build Resilience through Change

Vulnerability is a part of life, no matter what. It tends to be significantly heightened if you are pushing yourself to grow, taking risks, and moving through a period of transition.

The good news is, there are strategies that can really help you to manage the vulnerability of change and putting yourself out there.

Learning and practicing these strategies will build your resilience muscles, and help to carry you through the ups and downs of your journey.

Resilience is a practice, not a destination—so be kind to yourself, and know that it’s normal to feel knocked down from time to time. Here are some ways to get back up:


I’m Questioning My Job, My Relationship, My Home…Am I Normal?

Journal

Are you questioning everything?

“I’m feeling all this weirdness lately. I feel apprehensive, depressed, frustrated, insecure, self-critical—all this at a time when trees are blossoming and temperatures are more—well—temperate. Spring is supposed to be a time of rebirth, of hope. Yet I feel worried and at times sad…”


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