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“Multi-win” Ways to Make New Friends

Let’s face it—putting yourself out there to make new friends can be scary.

It can also be more than a little disheartening when you harness your courage and put in the effort to get out there, but don’t make a connection.

One way to keep yourself encouraged to try new social things is to choose events that have multiple-win potential—meaning, more than one good thing that can come out of them.

When you try a multi-win activity or event, you can be less attached to a particular outcome. Chances are you’ll get something great out of it no matter what—and maybe a new friend to boot!

Another advantage to all of these ideas is that they offer a built-in focus or conversation topic. If you are shy and often struggle with how to strike up a conversation, choosing one of these activities lets you off the hook because there is already a shared focus in place.

Here are five multi-win ways to put yourself out there.


5 Ways to Improve Your Workday (That Have Nothing to Do with Work)

Work FrustrationStruggling to get out of bed in the morning because you’re dreading what the day holds?

Dragging your heels as you get ready for another day at a job you don’t love?

Here are five tips you can use when you’re not at work to transform the time you are there.


Sedum

Last summer, after a year of renovating her new home, my friend Carmen decided it was time to warm her place up with friends.

At the housewarming party, Carmen proudly took us through and around the house, and as the tour finished, our group ended up in the garden.

Carmen showed us where she’d spent hours ripping up the prolific weeds and ivy, in some places leaving the weeds she liked the look of.

The more knowledgable gardeners in the group remarked on this plant and that. Knowing next to nothing about gardening myself, I was interested in Jill’s comment that sedum “roots itself.”

Drop it anywhere, she explained, and it will burrow its way into the soil and not just survive, but thrive.

“There’s a metaphor there somewhere,” I said.


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