From the time we are children, each October brings up a crucial question for many of us.
That question gets passed around the playground, fills our dinner conversations, and dances in our minds as we fall asleep at night.
Who are you going to be for Halloween??
As a grown-ass woman, I have a number of thirtysomething friends who are obsessed with Halloween.
For weeks leading up to the last day of October, the conversation grows more and more feverish: Who are we going to be?!?
At this time of year when it’s a common question to ask others, “Who are you going to be?” I invite you to ask yourself that question in a new way.
Whether or not you plan to dress up this year, you can use Halloween as an opportunity to step back and check in:
Who are you being in your life today?
Really—right now, take at least one whole minute to really ask yourself that question:
Who am I being in my life right now?
Does your answer line up with your values?
Does it line up with who you like to think you are?
Where’s the mismatch between how you’d like to answer that question and how you’d honestly answer it right now?
If you found a gap, here are 3 ways to start liking the answer to the “Who am I being?” question.
Let Your Costume Be Your Guide
Those thirtysomethings who love Halloween often refer to it as a chance to “be anyone I want to be” or “be somebody else.”
Think of the costumes that have most appealed to you over the years. Let your costumes provide clues for who and how you want to be.
What aspects of those personas attract you?
How could you bring those qualities into your “real” life (for good, not evil, of course!)?
For example, if you’re dressed up like a superhero and you love that persona of boldness and courage, how can you be more bold and courageous in your life?
If you look forward to Halloween as an excuse to wear something you think is sexy, how can you bring more sexual energy into your life?
You don’t have to wear an outfit to exude an attribute. (I am not, not, not advocating that you dress like a sexy hamburger at work. Or ever, actually.)
An outfit is just one way to bring a trait forward. How can you appropriately channel the desirable aspects of your Halloween persona into your everyday, real-life persona?
Lay the Foundation
What makes up your ideal self-image?
Who do you want to be?
Get out your writing tool of choice and make a list of the values you want to prioritize and live by, and the traits you want to exude.
Add to the list the thoughts, words, and deeds that demonstrate those values and traits.
Think about who you want to be in all of the areas of your life—in all the different roles you play.
Who do you want to be at home? at work? as a friend? as a partner? as a leader? as your own best friend?
Make a Plan
Go through each item on your list and ask yourself, How can I be ____ today? this month? this year?
For each trait or value, write down at least two specific ways you can truly BE who and how you want to be.
Then, incorporate your plan into your daily life with a Start-of-Day and End-of-Day Reflection.
When you wake up each morning, ask yourself: Who am I going to be today?
(Asking who you ARE going to be today may set an even more powerful intention than asking who you WANT to be.)
Throughout the day, check in and ask yourself, Who am I being right now?
When you go to sleep at night, ask, Who was I today? Who will I be tomorrow?
Who are YOU going to be for Halloween? Interpret that question however you will, and tell us in the comments.
Photo by Carrie Spaulding