Recently, we discussed the key commitment of Telling the Truth. You practiced the discipline of allowing yourself to know and to articulate what you know, without shutting it down or pushing back on it. This is such an important part of breaking through Thirtysomething Panic, and in transition at any stage of life. We’ll be returning to this skill often as we go forward, because it is so important, and so challenging to master.
This year, I’m synthesizing the discoveries and lessons learned from a decade of work with coaching clients, crystallizing what helped each of them overcome their obstacles and achieve their goals. I’m sharing these key insights and making suggestions for how you can apply them in your own life. Today, let’s take a look at another key skill that can help you break through Thirtysomething Panic: Narrate with neutrality. This means making the Negative—> Neutral Shift.
In light of the news of the day here in the United States, I’m taking a detour from our journey through Thirtysomething Panic, and hoping to make a tiny difference in your day (and in mine) with a tool you can use if you are feeling despair, grief, rage, or fear—or file away for another time, if you don’t need it today.
On a day on which a fundamental right has been taken away and others may be under threat, amidst so much other tragedy and suffering in the world, it is easy to despair. Here are some ways we can and do respond when despair beckons.
Jordan Friedman, a 25-year pioneer of stress and anxiety management education, invited me to join him on The Chill Factory Podcast.
It was a joy to talk to Jordan about compelling ways to quiet Thirtysomething Panic–and, for that matter, anysomething freakouts. After the conversation, Jordan teaches a powerful stress reducer you can use right away. Listen wherever you normally get your podcasts, or here.
Once in a while, I find a book that I wish I could put directly into the hands of everyone who is struggling with a certain topic. When a friend recommended Rachel Friedman’s book And Then We Grew Up: On Creativity, Potential, and the Imperfect Art of Adulthood, I was excited to read it, but I had no idea how much it would speak to some of the core issues that thirtysomethings struggle with. I highlighted the book within an inch of its life, and I knew I had to talk to Rachel and share her insights with you all.
Last week, we talked about the Order of Operations problem when dealing with Thirtysomething Panic (or changes at any stage of life). In preparing to share my insights from ten years (!) of coaching with you over the course of this 10th anniversary year, I’ve faced my own OOO problem: since each individual is different, the Order of Operations of how my clients and readers will create change in their lives is different for everyone. And yet, because I’m writing to you as a group instead of coaching you as an individual, I have to make some decisions about how to order these insights and action steps.
So over the next few posts, we’re going to begin with some concepts that can be really useful to start with, no matter who you are and what you’re working on. We’ll explore ways to lay the foundation for a successful change odyssey. In particular, we’ll look at and practice some key commitments and skills that will set you up for a powerful journey towards creating the career, relationships, and life you want:
When I was in seventh grade, I remember Mrs. Mezzocchi teaching us the acronym PEMDAS—Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally. This was a mnemonic trick to help us remember the order of operations for solving a mathematics equation.
Fifteen years later, when my first taste of Thirtysomething Panic came on like a tidal wave, I found this phrase flashing through my head. What is the order of operations here?!? I kept wondering. Where is my Thirtysomething Panic PEMDAS?
My relationship, my career, my purpose on this planet—EVERYTHING felt up in the air. Whenever I tried to start working on figuring out one piece of the puzzle, I felt like I couldn’t make any headway, because I’d start thinking about how it hinged on the other variables and second-guess every idea I’d had towards action.
What should I focus on first?
At times, this question can be very useful. At other times, it can stop all progress in its tracks.