North Dakota

I’m sitting in the Moonrise Cafe in Fargo, North Dakota. I was thinking about my upcoming keynote for the Capital Coaches ConferenceVenture Boldly Forward into the Unknown: Nomad Insights to Transform Your Work, Leadership, and Life, and I started thinking of you—you who, for whatever combination of reasons, are reading this post. I want to share some thoughts about decisions to venture into new places and experiences, and the surreal awe that can arise from them. 

Of all the places I’ve been on this journey, North Dakota felt among the most surreal to enter into. I’ve known for the last year or so that I would come here, but still, when I actually began to approach the state line and ultimately crossed over, I felt a little…dazzled; shaken up; unsettled; startled

Based on the semi-stunned response my body was having, I realized I’d crossed an unconscious boundary, and come to a place that, for most of my life, I’d never thought about as a place I would ever be. 

I felt spooked as I drove past the enormous grain silos, and wondered why I felt so spooked. (I sensed it was largely because it was round about 3 AM—a story for another day—but not entirely.) Part of it was this strong sense—not just a factual knowing, but a full-body awareness—that I was somewhere unlike anywhere I’d been, or ever imagined being. It was as though I could feel this in my cells. I was in new territory, literally. 

Of course, this has been true of almost all of the places I’ve visited on my adventure. So why was it any different from all the other places I’d never been? Why was this crossing extra intense? 

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You’ve Got Time

YOU’VE GOT TIME [I-IX]. Series. Watercolor on 7.125×10.25″ paper.  $300 each includes US shipping; $10 off on each additional if they are going to the same place at the same time. Painted at Lake Winnipesaukee in summer 2023.

Buckle up–we’re going on a journey through time and sunset and the human psyche!

This series was born one evening at Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire last summer. I was sitting on the steps down by the lake doing what I had looked forward to all day–painting by the water. So much sooner than I was ready, the sun began to set, and I was seized with the familiar symphonic juxtaposition of emotions, thoughts, and sensations that tend to come up in me in these sunset moments: joyful overwhelm at the beauty; awe at the fact of getting to witness it; a desperation to have more time with the light; protestation at how little time of lightness was left; an ache at how quickly the day had flown by; gratitude and delight at the luxury of having a little bit of time at the end of my day to paint in such an inspiring place; awareness of the insane privilege inherent in same; urgency to soak up every second of beauty and opportunity. 

And an existential mandate to make the most of every bit of light before it’s gone. In these moments, I’m flooded with the awareness that I still have a tiny bit more time before darkness falls and all activities of the light are unavailable until tomorrow. 

The sun is still up–it hasn’t set on the day yet. There’s still a little bit of time left!! 

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“If I Knew What To Do, I’d Do It!” The Importance of Intuition in Breaking Through Thirtysomething Panic

Recently, we discussed the key commitment of Telling the Truth. You practiced the discipline of allowing yourself to know and to articulate what you know, without shutting it down or pushing back on it. This is such an important part of breaking through Thirtysomething Panic, and in transition at any stage of life. We’ll be returning to this skill often as we go forward, because it is so important, and so challenging to master.

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The Negative —> Neutral Shift: An Important Pit Stop on the Road to Positivity

This year, I’m synthesizing the discoveries and lessons learned from a decade of work with coaching clients, crystallizing what helped each of them overcome their obstacles and achieve their goals. I’m sharing these key insights and making suggestions for how you can apply them in your own life. Today, let’s take a look at another key skill that can help you break through Thirtysomething Panic: Narrate with neutrality. This means making the Negative—> Neutral Shift.

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Alternatives to Despair

 

In light of the news of the day here in the United States, I’m taking a detour from our journey through Thirtysomething Panic, and hoping to make a tiny difference in your day (and in mine) with a tool you can use if you are feeling despair, grief, rage, or fear—or file away for another time, if you don’t need it today. 

On a day on which a fundamental right has been taken away and others may be under threat, amidst so much other tragedy and suffering in the world, it is easy to despair. Here are some ways we can and do respond when despair beckons.

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Tell The Truth

Recently, we’ve discussed how to handle the Order of Operations problem, and how to make the Isolation —> Belonging Shift. We also met Rachel Friedman, who shared useful ideas for navigating the imperfect art of adulthood

 

Now, let’s dive into one of the foundational commitments that will help you break through Thirtysomething Panic (or set yourself up for success in any period of life transition): Telling the Truth.

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The Chill Factory

Jordan Friedman, a 25-year pioneer of stress and anxiety management education, invited me to join him on The Chill Factory Podcast. 

It was a joy to talk to Jordan about compelling ways to quiet Thirtysomething Panic–and, for that matter, anysomething freakouts. After the conversation, Jordan teaches a powerful stress reducer you can use right away.
Listen wherever you normally get your podcasts, or here.

 

 

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And Then We Grew Up: Thirtysomething Panic and the Imperfect Art of Adulthood (Interview with Rachel Friedman)

Once in a while, I find a book that I wish I could put directly into the hands of everyone who is struggling with a certain topic. When a friend recommended Rachel Friedman’s book And Then We Grew Up: On Creativity, Potential, and the Imperfect Art of Adulthood, I was excited to read it, but I had no idea how much it would speak to some of the core issues that thirtysomethings struggle with. I highlighted the book within an inch of its life, and I knew I had to talk to Rachel and share her insights with you all. 

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