You’ve heard that dirty old dumping line: “It’s not you—it’s me.”
Well, today I’m here to tell you:
It’s not you—it’s everyone.
So many of my clients feel shame about some aspect of how, who, and what they are, or in something they have done.
I call these things the “If They Only Knews,” because many of us fear that if people only knew these things, they would know how mean, bad, selfish, and unlovable we really are. …
It’s Not You—It’s Everyone Read More »
Imagine you could go back in time (as the adult you are now) and sit down with your 6- to 18-year-old self. What age would you pick, and what would you say?
Write down your response to this question before reading on.
For real!
Done?
Okay.
A few weeks ago, I asked everyone in our thirtyawesome community to share your answers to this question. I was inspired by your responses, and struck by the common threads that ran through answers that were sent in from so many different people.
Across the board, the responses centered around four main themes: …
Talking to Yourself: What Would You Say? Read More »
Gratitude isn’t a destination; it’s a practice. Here’s a brief, but powerful, exercise you can do to quickly tap into simple joy and appreciation.
Grab a pen and paper, or open up a new document, and take just 5 minutes to work through this brief—but potentially transformational—process. …
Take 5: Gratitude Edition Read More »
“I had no idea what I was going to do…I had zero plan… Now I realize what a gift it was.”
Meet Diane Matkowski. She has been a lab aide, a landscape gardener, a car salesperson, a massage therapist, and a business owner.
Join me as I talk to Diane about her multi-stop hop on a career path that led to opening her own business.
Are you thinking, “I could never do that!”?
Well, Diane had nooooo idea that would ever be possible for her, either. …
One of the hardest parts of an ending—whether it’s the end of a relationship, a job (or a whole career), or your residence in a home or city—is the knowledge and acceptance that this will have been it.
When you’re going—really going—a particular insidious voice can show up in your head. I call this voice the Never-Dids.
“But I never finished…”
“But I/we never got to…”
“But I haven’t gotten this perfect yet.”
When there’s always a tomorrow in that place, job, or relationship, there’s always a possibility to do better, to complete more, to enjoy or experience more, to perfect and hone.
When tomorrow will find you somewhere new…that’s when the Never-Dids come out to play.
…
How to Survive an Attack of the Never-Dids Read More »
When I was 27, I had a tonsillectomy. After years of having horrible throat pain and other complications every time I had so much as a flicker of a cold, I finally saw an ENT who suggested I get the nasty things taken out.
He warned me that as procedures go, an adult tonsillectomy is “not pleasant.”
I nearly screamed, “I don’t care! Take them OUT!!!!!”
I was ready to put the years of tonsil torture behind me.
As it happened, in the couple of weeks before my tonsillectomy, I had fallen—hard—for someone I’d started to date.
This was one of those horse-before-the-cart deals; strongly encouraged by the signals I was seeing—and, yeah, okay, probably by some signals I wanted to see—I let myself fall way too fast. …
The Tonsillectomy Technique: How to Get over Getting Over ItRead More »
The Tonsillectomy Technique: How to Get over Getting Over It Read More »
I used to think that people who created certain things—who built businesses, or were on the radio, or wrote books—were fundamentally a certain kind of person.
A kind I certainly wasn’t.
As if there was some sort of predestination involved—and I was not one of those people.
Because who the hell am I to think I could do that?
I always felt I had something inside me to share on a bigger scale, but it seemed downright silly or deluded to even share that feeling with myself—let alone anyone else!
Everyone and their mother thinks they have a book in them, I thought.
But one day, I was in the shower, listening to an interview of a researcher/writer on NPR, feeling a slight twinge of envy, and suddenly, I had a Duh Moment (this is my term for an Aha Moment that seems obvious to the point of idiotic in retrospect): …
How Bad Do You Want It? Read More »
“I’ve decided that I’m on vacation, indefinitely. And sometimes you have to work on vacation.”
My friend Per made this pronouncement many years ago, during a perfectly normal workweek.
It made me giggle at the time.
Now I think he was onto something.
You know those stretches where your days are so full that the weeks start to run together? Where a minute ago it was March and suddenly it’s May? I’m just coming out of one of those.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I love what I’m doing and I’m full of gratitude to be doing a lot of it.
That said, last week I hit the point where I felt I could really use a little break. …
How to Go on Vacation—Right Now Read More »