Everything

Stayer’s Guilt: Why Didn’t I End the Relationship, Leave That Job, or Make That Move Sooner?

2 Comments / Breakups, Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Moving, Relationships, Transitions /

When I work with people who have decided to make a major change in their relationships or careers, one of the most common themes I hear is regret about having waited until now:

“I knew things weren’t going well. Why didn’t I end it sooner?”
“I wasted so much time.”
“I could have been over this and moving on a year ago, but instead I stayed stuck.”
“All those years and nothing to show for it.”
“I lost x months/years of my life.”
“I knew in my heart it was time to go…but I stayed for years.”
“All my friends told me I should leave, but I didn’t listen.”
“If only…I just wish…Why couldn’t I have…”

Today I want to teach you a 6-step process that will help you banish the guilt and self-punishing and help you turn that “doomed” relationship or “dead-end” job into one of the best things that ever happened to you—even after the fact. …

Stayer’s Guilt: Why Didn’t I End the Relationship, Leave That Job, or Make That Move Sooner?Read More »

Stayer’s Guilt: Why Didn’t I End the Relationship, Leave That Job, or Make That Move Sooner? Read More »

The Golden Dealbreaker: The No Exceptions, Bottom-Line, Non-Negotiable Reason to Accept Your Breakup and Walk Away

1 Comment / Breakups, Everything, Relationships /
Is it time for you to walk away?

As a coach, I believe wholeheartedly in the grey areas—of life, and of relationships.

Few things are black and white.

There are so many negotiables.

We choose to honor certain values over others. We decide that there is enough “right” to make it worth accepting or working on the “wrong.”

Yes—when it comes to differences, conflicts, and incompatibilities in a relationship, there is a lot you can work with.

There’s room for give and take.

There’s a place for reevaluating what you thought you needed, and being flexible enough to accept someone as they are and make the relationship work.

But there is one fundamental quality that your partner MUST have, and it’s so important that I’m willing to put a stake in the ground for it. So important, in fact, that I’ve named it the Golden Dealbreaker. It will not steer you wrong. Here it is:

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The Golden Dealbreaker: The No Exceptions, Bottom-Line, Non-Negotiable Reason to Accept Your Breakup and Walk AwayRead More »

The Golden Dealbreaker: The No Exceptions, Bottom-Line, Non-Negotiable Reason to Accept Your Breakup and Walk Away Read More »

Heart Medicine: Books to Immerse Yourself in after a Breakup

4 Comments / Breakups, Everything, Recommended Reading, Relationships /

When you’re hurting from a breakup, and exhausted with spending so much time sifting through the mess and emotional wreckage in your own head and heart, turning to an old or new literary friend can be just the medicine you need.

Diving into a good book helps you change your mental scenery and pulls you out of your doldrums (at least for an hour or two).

When you see romantic adventures and misadventures through a character’s eyes, you connect with the universal joys and pains of being a human in (or out) of love. You feel less alone.

In other words, getting lost in a good book can help you feel found.

Today, I’m sharing with you the books I turn to when I need to get away and to remember I’m not alone. …

Heart Medicine: Books to Immerse Yourself in after a BreakupRead More »

Heart Medicine: Books to Immerse Yourself in after a Breakup Read More »

Be Yours: 7 Ways to Love Yourself and Be Your Own Valentine This Valentine’s Day

Leave a Comment / Breakups, Everything, Happiness, Relationships /

Whether you’re reeling from a recent breakup or happily single, February 14th can be a tricky day to navigate when you’re flying solo.

For the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, we’re bashed over the head with messages of coupledom. It’s only natural to want to be able to join in on the lovefest.

This Valentine’s Day, I challenge you to love yourself most of all.

On the day of luuuuuv, here are 7 things for you to do for that special someone (I’m talking about YOU). …

Be Yours: 7 Ways to Love Yourself and Be Your Own Valentine This Valentine’s DayRead More »

Be Yours: 7 Ways to Love Yourself and Be Your Own Valentine This Valentine’s Day Read More »

The Power of Your Language: 5 Tips for Talking to Children about Conflicts

Leave a Comment / Everything, Parents/Educators /

When it comes to helping our children or students navigate conflict, our language is so important. Even when you’re not aware of it, children will often pick up on your energy and mirror it. A conflict can easily escalate or de-escalate based on the language a helping adult uses.

When you bring awareness to your language, learn and practice key communication skills, and intentionally choose language that empowers your child, you’ll completely transform the way your child experiences and navigates conflict.

Here are five tips to make your communication with children more positively impactful and empowering, even in the most difficult and painful moments. …

The Power of Your Language: 5 Tips for Talking to Children about ConflictsRead More »

The Power of Your Language: 5 Tips for Talking to Children about Conflicts Read More »

Saying Yes to Your Pain

8 Comments / Breakups, Everything, Relationships, Transitions /

This is an article for grownups—but it begins with a little story about children.

At the beginning of my first career, when I was a new teacher, I thought it was my job to fix the problems my students brought to me.

If I couldn’t solve the problem, I thought, it meant I was failing. Failing the kids, failing their parents, failing myself.

No pressure, right?! …

Saying Yes to Your PainRead More »

Saying Yes to Your Pain Read More »

Embracing the Green-Eyed Monster: How to Use Jealousy as a Diagnostic Tool

2 Comments / Breakups, Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Relationships /

If you are in a relationship, and jealous of that hilarious (and hot! Why does s/he have to be so hot!?) person your partner is talking to…

or if you are single, but feel jealous of those incredibly confident, gorgeous, and put-together people around you…

or if you feel like you’re going crazy with jealousy over someone your ex is dating…

or if you’re starting to think nasty thoughts about that rockstar at work who everyone just loves!…

First of all, that is totally, completely, absolutely normal.

Whether or not they show it outwardly, just about everyone feels jealous at one time or another.

But I know…it sucks. …

Embracing the Green-Eyed Monster: How to Use Jealousy as a Diagnostic ToolRead More »

Embracing the Green-Eyed Monster: How to Use Jealousy as a Diagnostic Tool Read More »

6 Toxic Breakup Thoughts to Call Bullsh*t On

5 Comments / Breakups, Everything, Happiness, Relationships, Transitions /

While your heart is aching, your head is racing.

During a breakup, the same old thoughts tend to run through our heads on a spin cycle.

These thoughts are totally normal and downright predictable in the wake of a breakup, but they can become toxic if they’re allowed to spin too long, and they deliver a relentless diet of guilt, sadness, and regret.

When I work with clients at “breakup ground zero,” I hear these thoughts emerge again and again. If your thoughts are holding you back from moving on, it’s time to stare them in the face and call them what they are: total BS.

Here are some of the most common and compelling toxic breakup thoughts, along with the reasons why it’s time to kick them to the curb.

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6 Toxic Breakup Thoughts to Call Bullsh*t OnRead More »

6 Toxic Breakup Thoughts to Call Bullsh*t On Read More »