Career Change and Fulfillment

What Will You Miss? Consider the Big Yellow Taxi Factor

6 Comments / Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Relationships, Transitions /

Picture this:

It’s Saturday night, and you’re all alone, sitting on the couch, drinking wine by yourself and watching a sappy movie. The phone isn’t ringing. You have no one to talk to, nowhere to go, and nothing to do.

…

What just came up for you?

If you are like some of my clients, the singles who long to be grounded in partnership and family, it’s likely you thought, “How depressing.”

And then, maybe, “FML.”

If you are like some of my other clients, such as the mother who can hardly believe that there was a time she had a moment to herself, but knows in hazy half-memory that she did once, and fears that she never will again, it’s likely you got a dreamy look on your face and thought, “How divine.”

And then, maybe, “FML.”

The same scenario; radically different interpretations and experiences.

Perspective is everything.

How can you create perspective for yourself, when you so powerfully long for some part of your life to be different?

Today I have a great exercise for you that will help you do just that. …

What Will You Miss? Consider the Big Yellow Taxi FactorRead More »

What Will You Miss? Consider the Big Yellow Taxi Factor Read More »

It’s Okay to Want to Make Money (and Recommended Reading: Overcoming Underearning)

2 Comments / Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Recommended Reading /

When I work with clients in career transition, it’s common for them to talk about wanting more money like it’s a bad thing.

Many people, especially women, have been taught, consciously or unconsciously, that it is wrong to want to make a lot of money.

Some of my clients say, “Welllllll…I’d like to…make more money,” with something akin to shame in their voices.

Some will very forcefully clarify that they do NOT want to be rich. “Not too much!!! Just…enough.”

I’m here to put a stake in the ground today: there is nothing wrong, bad, selfish, or shameful about you if you want to make more money. …

It’s Okay to Want to Make Money (and Recommended Reading: Overcoming Underearning)Read More »

It’s Okay to Want to Make Money (and Recommended Reading: Overcoming Underearning) Read More »

Move On

3 Comments / Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Relationships, Transitions /

Moving on can be really scary.

When I was in the process of making my own huge career leap, a song I hadn’t thought about in years suddenly came into my head one morning (a Sunday morning, as it happened!).

No coincidence—this was right at the no-turning-back-now time when I needed to hear the message of the song most.

The song was “Move On,” from Stephen Sondheim’s musical Sunday in the Park with George.

In the song, George, an artist, is totally stuck because he feels he has nothing new to add to the world; nothing to say that hasn’t been said.

Then Dot, his ex, shows up to talk to him.

Well, sort of.

It’s complicated and involves what I’ll describe for brevity’s sake as time travel. I won’t go into a thorough explanation of all the plot points that lead to this song—that’s all you really need to know.

Through this song, Dot gives George a powerful pep-talk-kick-in-the-ass combo based on her own bold leap into change.

Even if you’re not into musicals, “Move On” is a perfect career change anthem. …

Move OnRead More »

Move On Read More »

Stayer’s Guilt: Why Didn’t I End the Relationship, Leave That Job, or Make That Move Sooner?

2 Comments / Breakups, Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Moving, Relationships, Transitions /

When I work with people who have decided to make a major change in their relationships or careers, one of the most common themes I hear is regret about having waited until now:

“I knew things weren’t going well. Why didn’t I end it sooner?”
“I wasted so much time.”
“I could have been over this and moving on a year ago, but instead I stayed stuck.”
“All those years and nothing to show for it.”
“I lost x months/years of my life.”
“I knew in my heart it was time to go…but I stayed for years.”
“All my friends told me I should leave, but I didn’t listen.”
“If only…I just wish…Why couldn’t I have…”

Today I want to teach you a 6-step process that will help you banish the guilt and self-punishing and help you turn that “doomed” relationship or “dead-end” job into one of the best things that ever happened to you—even after the fact. …

Stayer’s Guilt: Why Didn’t I End the Relationship, Leave That Job, or Make That Move Sooner?Read More »

Stayer’s Guilt: Why Didn’t I End the Relationship, Leave That Job, or Make That Move Sooner? Read More »

Embracing the Green-Eyed Monster: How to Use Jealousy as a Diagnostic Tool

2 Comments / Breakups, Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Relationships /

If you are in a relationship, and jealous of that hilarious (and hot! Why does s/he have to be so hot!?) person your partner is talking to…

or if you are single, but feel jealous of those incredibly confident, gorgeous, and put-together people around you…

or if you feel like you’re going crazy with jealousy over someone your ex is dating…

or if you’re starting to think nasty thoughts about that rockstar at work who everyone just loves!…

First of all, that is totally, completely, absolutely normal.

Whether or not they show it outwardly, just about everyone feels jealous at one time or another.

But I know…it sucks. …

Embracing the Green-Eyed Monster: How to Use Jealousy as a Diagnostic ToolRead More »

Embracing the Green-Eyed Monster: How to Use Jealousy as a Diagnostic Tool Read More »

Can’t Let Go? Try Holding On Instead.

2 Comments / Breakups, Career Change and Fulfillment, Happiness, Moving, Relationships, Transitions /

When it comes to things we can’t control, people often advise us to let go.

When it comes to moving on from an ended relationship or job, we push ourselves to let go.

When it comes to, well, coming, we’re told the secret is to let go!

It seems like the right idea—after all, we want to move on or get past whatever isn’t working, and letting go seems like the only way to do that. Sometimes, though, letting go sounds good in theory, but is near to impossible to achieve in practice. …

Can’t Let Go? Try Holding On Instead.Read More »

Can’t Let Go? Try Holding On Instead. Read More »

Taste What IS There: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself When All You’re Seeing Is Lack

8 Comments / Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Relationships, Transitions /

If you read my last post, you know that my success with my 30-day blogging challenge left me raring to go on the next one!

As I poured my morning coffee the day after completing my first challenge, an idea for my next challenge popped into my head: to drink my coffee and tea without sugar for the next 30 days.

The idea wasn’t to cut sugar out of my diet entirely.

Ohhhhh, no!

It was just that for months, I’d been thinking about wanting to cut back on this easy-to-overlook addition to my sugar intake. (This girl likes a LOT of sugar in her coffee.) When I’d tried to have less sugar before, I always wanted more—my regular amount—so I decided that a cold-turkey 30 days would be another approach that would, by removing all of the gray area, force-adjust me.

Plus, I wanted to see just how powerful a 30-day challenge could be. On the heels of my first 30-day success, I decided to go for it. …

Taste What IS There: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself When All You’re Seeing Is LackRead More »

Taste What IS There: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself When All You’re Seeing Is Lack Read More »

Little Steps, Big Changes: Reboot Your New Year’s Resolution with a 30-Day Challenge

23 Comments / Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Procrastination & Productivity, Relationships, Transitions /

Did you make big, audacious New Year’s Resolutions this year?

First, congratulations on taking the time to self-reflect and commit to a change!

Now—are you overwhelmed, disillusioned, or discouraged yet? If so, you’re in good company.

Mid-January is a time when that fresh resolve that This is the year! starts to flag for many people, as we jump back into all of the responsibilities and to-dos and habits that are still waiting right where we left them at then end of December. …

Little Steps, Big Changes: Reboot Your New Year’s Resolution with a 30-Day ChallengeRead More »

Little Steps, Big Changes: Reboot Your New Year’s Resolution with a 30-Day Challenge Read More »