Are you waiting for an angel to fly into town?
One of the nastiest beasts that keeps people stuck is what I refer to as the “If-Mores.”
We tell ourselves that if only we had more (fill-in-the-blank), we would be able to do something that we long to do.
This can become an excuse not to take action.
Oh well, we say. I guess I just can’t have that.
This is usually accompanied by some major Poor me energy, along with a grumble or two of comparison to others who have the thing we wish we had more of.
Today, I challenge you to begin a journey to banish the If-Mores by doing the following exercise.
No doubt about it—the winter holidays can be particularly poignant when you’re in transition.
This time of year is a common “taking-stock” time. As you go to festive parties or head home for the holidays, you can’t help but think about what your life was like this time last year, and the year before, and the year before.
If things were better last year—you had a job you loved, or you were in a great relationship, or you were happily single instead of dealing with the fresh heartbreak upon you now—the comparison can feel really sad, frustrating, or overwhelming.
On the other hand, holidays can be a time of deep awareness of what hasn’t changed.
If last year you vowed that this would be the year you finally (fill in the blank), the realization that it wasn’t can hit hard.
If you were stuck last year, and you’re still stuck now, still feeling in transition, you can get sucked into a defeatist mentality. “I’ll never figure it out.” “I haven’t made any progress.” “I guess I’m just the messed up sister.”
“I thought I would do things that made me happy, but I never once imagined any of them making me any money.”
Rae and I discuss her career journey from “slinging coffee” to being a non-profit fundraiser, and how she ended up finding her passion in a job she landed in—a path she describes as “random, to say the very least.”
You’ll hear about:
- the importance of champions and mentors
- identifying and packaging your transferable skills
- how to make yourself happy (she’s talking to you!)
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Just five more minutes…
Ever since I was a little girl, I have struggled with getting out of bed in the morning.
If you’re engaged in a never-ending battle with your alarm clock, you’re not alone. So many people share this struggle!
Especially when you’re in transition—working all day at your regular job and then all night on your “second job” of transition; dealing with the emotional upheaval and exhaustion of a breakup; not feeling compelled by your current career or the demands of your daily grind—it can be hard to get yourself up and into action each day.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you get to the bottom of your eternal challenge, and to break the habit.
Is someone on your team at work driving you crazy?
Is another member of your club or association significantly impacting your enjoyment of the activity?
If your job or activities require you to spend time with someone who continually pushes your buttons, it’s time to go back to the age-old, sometimes-annoying-but-always-true fact: you can’t control anyone but yourself.
Instead of focusing on what the object of your irritation is doing, choose to change your own approach to the situation.
Irritation can reinforce itself; if you don’t shift your thoughts about the person, your frustration is bound to increase, and it will likely have an impact on how you are showing up and acting yourself.
Here are six tips for tricking yourself out of annoyance and into proactive transformation.
Struggling to get out of bed in the morning because you’re dreading what the day holds?
Dragging your heels as you get ready for another day at a job you don’t love?
Here are five tips you can use when you’re not at work to transform the time you are there.