As we launch into another holiday season*, I’m thinking of you.
Panicking that your career is not where you want it to be.
Panicking that your relationships, or lack of relationships, will never change.
You may even feel guilt on top of the panic: after all, you are so blessed, and you are supposed to be grateful.
From the very beginning, this summer has been a pretty intense walk down Memory Lane here in Carrie-town.
It started in the technically-not-summer-late-spring, when I walked down the street and saw the shades up and a big “FOR RENT” sign near the front window of my first apartment in Philadelphia.
I pressed my nose against the glass and looked at the empty space.
Memories came flooding over me, in a clearer and more visceral way than they had in years. I couldn’t pull myself away.
Vulnerability is a part of life, no matter what. It tends to be significantly heightened if you are pushing yourself to grow, taking risks, and moving through a period of transition.
The good news is, there are strategies that can really help you to manage the vulnerability of change and putting yourself out there.
Learning and practicing these strategies will build your resilience muscles, and help to carry you through the ups and downs of your journey.
Resilience is a practice, not a destination—so be kind to yourself, and know that it’s normal to feel knocked down from time to time. Here are some ways to get back up:
Are you questioning everything?
“I’m feeling all this weirdness lately. I feel apprehensive, depressed, frustrated, insecure, self-critical—all this at a time when trees are blossoming and temperatures are more—well—temperate. Spring is supposed to be a time of rebirth, of hope. Yet I feel worried and at times sad…”
Are you paying attention?
What are the world and the people in it trying to tell you?
If you feel lost, it might be time to listen. up.
When I was in the midst of my own career transition, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or even that it would involve a career change, but I did know some sort of change was on the horizon.
And that, in and of itself, was scary as hell. Not knowing what that change would be made it even scarier.
As I was trying to figure it all out, inventing my own transition, cobbling together an outline so that I could write my own mysterious next chapter, I didn’t feel like I had a roadmap at all.
“You are not the only person feeling the feelings that you’re feeling. You’re not the only person struggling with [these] issues…you’re not alone.” —Kristin Russo
“You have to learn to love yourself for a million different reasons.” —Dannielle Owens-Reid
I know that lot of you are asking yourselves one or more of these HUGE questions:
I get that vulnerability is important—but it’s so hard!! How do I make myself vulnerable enough to connect to people and be honest about who I am—even when it’s scary to be my real self?
How do I cheer up and find laughter and happiness, even when everything sucks?
How do I learn to love and accept myself?
How can I get help with questions I’m too embarrassed or afraid to ask?
How do I quit my day job to follow my purpose and forge my own path?
How do I come out or transition when I’m already in my thirties?
My kid just came out to me…OMG. What do I do?!?
You are in major luck: I have some amazing answers to every single one of these questions for you.
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Who’s cheering you on?
I’m gearing up for an opportunity I never imagined I’d have, and it got me thinking:
How do we take care of ourselves when we’re venturing into new territory?
When we’re going for something that we really want?
If you are doing something a little scary that really matters to you (and I hope you are—because that means you’re growing!!), tell at least one person what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and that you are scared.
This may shock you, and it’s a little hard for me to admit…
…because I don’t think of myself as a tech dinosaur.
But here’s why there was no article yesterday:
I left my house to meet a new friend for coffee in the morning, and ended up finally—unexpectedly—completing a project that has been incomplete for over a year.
When you can feel in your gut that you’re on the verge of completing a long-procrastinated task, sometimes it’s good to accept the gift of inspiration and allow your day’s plans to change.
Though I had different plans for my day (including writing to you), I knew that I should ride the wave of motivation to complete this epic (hey, one gal’s mountain is another’s molehill) task: