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Career Change and Fulfillment

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CliffStevens

Cliff Stevens, Founder/President of Lokadot, LLC

“Your career transition doesn’t have to be this difficulty—this unwanted disruption. It can be a brand new door that’s open for you…”

Your whole life, you’ve been dreaming of doing this job.

You went to school, studied hard, passed the tests, got the credentials, made the connections, and landed the perfect position.

Except…now that you’re actually doing the dream job, it turns out that it’s not at all what you thought it would be.

OR…

You finally found a job you love—a job that’s a great fit for you—and then that job disappears. Suddenly you’re starting over again.

What are you supposed to do now?!?


From Lab to Garden to Car Lot to Massage Studio: Carrie Spaulding, CPC Interviews Diane Matkowski

Diane Matkowski

Diane Matkowski, LMT, HHC
Freedom Massage

“I had no idea what I was going to do…I had zero plan… Now I realize what a gift it was.” 

Meet Diane Matkowski. She has been a lab aide, a landscape gardener, a car salesperson, a massage therapist, and a business owner.

Join me as I talk to Diane about her multi-stop hop on a career path that led to opening her own business.

Are you thinking, “I could never do that!”?

Well, Diane had nooooo idea that would ever be possible for her, either.


How to Survive an Attack of the Never-Dids

Hugging goodbye

Sometimes there’s no such thing as finished.

One of the hardest parts of an ending—whether it’s the end of a relationship, a job (or a whole career), or your residence in a home or city—is the knowledge and acceptance that this will have been it.

When you’re going—really going—a particular insidious voice can show up in your head. I call this voice the Never-Dids.

“But I never finished…”

“But I/we never got to…”

“But I haven’t gotten this perfect yet.”

When there’s always a tomorrow in that place, job, or relationship, there’s always a possibility to do better, to complete more, to enjoy or experience more, to perfect and hone.

When tomorrow will find you somewhere new…that’s when the Never-Dids come out to play.


The Tonsillectomy Technique: How to Get over Getting Over It

Tonsillectomy recovery

It hurts.

When I was 27, I had a tonsillectomy. After years of having horrible throat pain and other complications every time I had so much as a flicker of a cold, I finally saw an ENT who suggested I get the nasty things taken out.

He warned me that as procedures go, an adult tonsillectomy is “not pleasant.”

I nearly screamed, “I don’t care! Take them OUT!!!!!”

I was ready to put the years of tonsil torture behind me.

As it happened, in the couple of weeks before my tonsillectomy, I had fallen—hard—for someone I’d started to date.

This was one of those horse-before-the-cart deals; strongly encouraged by the signals I was seeing—and, yeah, okay, probably by some signals I wanted to see—I let myself fall way too fast.


How Bad Do You Want It?

Do it

How do you turn want to into did?

I used to think that people who created certain things—who built businesses, or were on the radio, or wrote books—were fundamentally a certain kind of person.

A kind I certainly wasn’t.

As if there was some sort of predestination involved—and I was not one of those people.

Because who the hell am I to think I could do that?

I always felt I had something inside me to share on a bigger scale, but it seemed downright silly or deluded to even share that feeling with myself—let alone anyone else!

Everyone and their mother thinks they have a book in them, I thought.

But one day, I was in the shower, listening to an interview of a researcher/writer on NPR, feeling a slight twinge of envy, and suddenly, I had a Duh Moment (this is my term for an Aha Moment that seems obvious to the point of idiotic in retrospect):


What Do We Know? A “Game” to Play When You Feel Lost

Mathnet George and Monday

Feeling lost?
Monday and George are on the case.

When you’re in the midst of a career change, sometimes it can feel like you have no idea who you are or where you’re going.

It’s disconcerting to look ahead and see a big question mark.

We often feel grounded by what we do for a living—we hook our identity onto it.

This is encouraged by a culture where the question “So, what do you do?” is often the first point of connection after “What is your name?” when meeting someone new.

Similarly, your whole internal identity can feel called into question when you’ve just ended—or are considering ending—a long-term relationship.

Even if you consider yourself a pretty independent lady or fella, putting a big question mark next to a human constant in your life can start the identity wheel spinning.

When you’re feeling confused, unrooted, and uncertain due to a huge looming question mark, here’s a little game you can play, inspired by one of my favorite TV programs growing up.


What Will You Miss? Consider the Big Yellow Taxi Factor

When you look at this picture, what do you see?

When you look at this picture, what do you see?

Picture this:

It’s Saturday night, and you’re all alone, sitting on the couch, drinking wine by yourself and watching a sappy movie. The phone isn’t ringing. You have no one to talk to, nowhere to go, and nothing to do.

What just came up for you?

If you are like some of my clients, the singles who long to be grounded in partnership and family, it’s likely you thought, “How depressing.”

And then, maybe, “FML.”

If you are like some of my other clients, such as the mother who can hardly believe that there was a time she had a moment to herself, but knows in hazy half-memory that she did once, and fears that she never will again, it’s likely you got a dreamy look on your face and thought, “How divine.”

And then, maybe, “FML.”

The same scenario; radically different interpretations and experiences.

Perspective is everything.

How can you create perspective for yourself, when you so powerfully long for some part of your life to be different?

Today I have a great exercise for you that will help you do just that.


It’s Okay to Want to Make Money (and Recommended Reading: Overcoming Underearning)

Woman making money

Do you feel guilty for wanting to make money?

When I work with clients in career transition, it’s common for them to talk about wanting more money like it’s a bad thing.

Many people, especially women, have been taught, consciously or unconsciously, that it is wrong to want to make a lot of money.

Some of my clients say, “Welllllll…I’d like to…make more money,” with something akin to shame in their voices.

Some will very forcefully clarify that they do NOT want to be rich. “Not too much!!! Just…enough.”

I’m here to put a stake in the ground today: there is nothing wrong, bad, selfish, or shameful about you if you want to make more money.


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